Friday, December 19, 2008

How to become a Manager?

I thought I will write the bottom up first. Disclamier: The views expressed here are not related to my Employeer or anyone associted with them in anyways. Everything written are just an imagination no where relates to real time. I would not gaurentee if it does so. 

Well, when you write such a post there has to be dicipline and process. So I guess my first post that I'm writing in a OO Writer.

  1. First thing that strikes me hard when I think of this topic is that one should start using Windows to become a Manager, cut that Linux/Command Prompt and source code when he was a developer. 
  2. One should not change the default wallpaper on the machine or laptop they own. Its like the default blue circuit kind IBM laptop wallpaper or the default windows landscape for Windows XP. :)
  3. One should learn to open "notepad" application from Start->Programs->Accessories->Notepad. 
  4. For (3) you should not use the keyboard. Only the mouse is allowed. 
  5. You should start signing a mail from "--Myname" to "Thanks and Regards, MyName"
  6. Inject lot of adverb, adjective, articles in one's mail.
  7. One should stop wearing those torn jean and those one liner t-shirts that say "Do you mind, I don care". 
  8. Start looking at options of brands like Raymonds, Peter England and Indigo Nation.
  9. Start programming using sophiticated IDE like Word, Excel, PowerPoint.
  10. One need to tell the same thing in 'n' different ways. "England lost the first test match to India", "India made a stunning win at the first test match against England".
  11. Finally, stop working and start talking. :)


Vijay said...

Last one is the most important of all. Point 3 is hilarious. I have seen many shortcut-handicapped managers [:)]
My manager dint know the shortcuts for cut copy paste in the award winning highly complicated software called MS PAINT. Dumb ass.
He selected his face and asked me what to do to cut his face, I was dumbstuck but still I enlightened him and then when ctrl+x was pressed his face disappeared in the screen. He freaked out saying my face is missing. I was pissed off. He dint trust me when I asked him not to save the file and paste it in a new paint window. Man he was such a pain.
Yeah I quit the company long ago [:D].

Anonymous said...

Vijesh, i SOOOOOOO qualify I say!

Vijesh said...

@Vijay :-) Face missing! LoL

@revsjoiedevivre I know I know.. Just get your CV ready and send it across. The rest will be history :)

Sankar said...

MS Project, Software processes, Meetings.

Vijesh said...

@Sankar Nice! Will update them. /me wondering is I should change the title as Manager (powered by MS...)

SRISHA said...

Whaaat a hillllarious observation!! Totally.

Best thing was, I never thought anyone could still be opening notepad like that. That too with only the mouse. Wow!

Vijesh said...

s/observation/imagination :)

Arun Raghavendar said...

Use MS Excel extensively..:)