Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Love marriage, Arranged marriage

Last Sunday I watched the "Neeya Naana" episode in Vijay TV. Topic was "Acceptance of arranged marriage and acceptance of love marriage". This always seems to be a sensitive/hot topic for people to debate about. So I'm not going to do it here.

In the current generation, the probability of people who are against love marriages is more. They might include mostly people who are more than 30+ years old. They are people who are from the previous generation living in this generation. In fact the various reason's they quote for not accepting love marriages are,
  • Caste the guy or girl belongs
  • Religion
  • Language they speak
  • Pride they might lose of accepting the love marriage
  • I don trust love marriage
Its their personal preferences and we don have a say in it.

But, how will the next generation be? Will there be a change? Will there be freedom for men and women to choose the people whom you want to live with? I remember a couple telling, We will be more than happy if their kid finds someone from its opposite gender. That should be all. Some say I'm even OK with them being gay, provided they are happy. But will this all eventually happen! We got to wait a few more decades for an update. :)

But definitely the chance to choose the life partner will increase in the coming generation. People will make their own choices and will be independent. But still there will be people who will sail along to the next generation with the same ideology for love marriage.

Whats your view?


Vivek said...

It l take another 50 yrs in rural India, where as ppl like us who form the next generation will be happy if gal/guy is from opp sex.

By the way the guy who told "koolai kooda pannuvom" in that show should be hung!

Nikanth Karthikesan said...

Love marriage versus arranged marriage.. so last gen..

Living together with 1 partner versus multiple partners is the topic people of my gen would like to discuss

As long as parents have love and affection for their kids instead of their own, anything is great.

Amudhan said...

Acceptance of love marriage is like an avalanche effect. The more love marriages happen (with or without approvals from the parents), they will (have to?) accept love marriage for their kids and most likely they will also end up in love marriage.

The more the parents treat their kids as friends, the more love marriages will happen. The parents will have to think of their kids happiness instead of their pride. When parents are that mature, there wont be any problem with love marriages.

I have seen cases in which parents are willing to go and talk to the other-side-parents and try to convince them because for them, their child's happiness is greater than any need.

I know that it is cliched answer :)

You know what, I have confidence that my parents will surely accept love marriage as they care about my happiness more. But the only problem is I can't find anyone :D what a pity... what a pity...

Vijesh said...


How did I miss that! Yeah living together will be a big trend then.


Acceptance of love marriage is like an avalanche effect.
Not exactly, there are many cases like the one that came in the TV show saying her parents are love marriage, and she had seen through the hard ship they underwent without the relatives being near by. So this daughter of them for sure wanted to go for arranged marriage.

But the only problem is I can't find anyone...
Ungalukea kedaikelena, apo naanga eallam yenga thala..

Meena Venkataraman said...

I guess either is a choice and whats important is giving people the right to choose...
if getting married the arranged way works for u then so requires be it..
If your lucky to fall in love..wishing you all the luck for a great life together ..

Either ways it requires a strong commitment from both partners to build a common future..Through everything that life has to offer..

For Every person decrying a love marriage , with the sole suggestion that marriages of the previous generations have lasted ages, ..Please go check your facts..
Just because a marriage lasts doesnt mean its happy..For instance Women in the slums suffer physical abuse at the hands of their husbands..they still stay put.. is that a successful marriage?

Similarly for every person who thinks an arranged marriage is old fashioned, its important to consider that its just a forum to meet people.. Not everyone might be social enough to go out and date so this is just another way to meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with..

There are happy arranged and love marriages and unhappy arranged and love marriages..
Bottom line..whatever works for u... theres no hard distinction saying one is better than the other.. its a choice!

Vijesh said...

Totally agree with the bottom line that there should be choice to choose.

But in India still arranged marriages are a default choice thats available with everyone. The population that makes a *choice* (either ways) is less, so hoping that would improve down the lane.

Anonymous said...

Being happy is mind over matter. People will tend to oscilate between the same levels of joy/sorrow periodically depending on their mental make up, regardless of the environmental constraints placed. Even marriage matters little if at all let alone who it is to.

Vijesh said...

Firstly welcome here. Enapo periya matter eallam soldringa.. Enaku than yetala.. :)