Happy married life 02mw(01-09)

Love marriage, Arranged marriage

Last Sunday I watched the "Neeya Naana" episode in Vijay TV. Topic was "Acceptance of arranged marriage and acceptance of love marriage". This always seems to be a sensitive/hot topic for people to debate about. So I'm not going to do it here.

In the current generation, the probability of people who are against love marriages is more. They might include mostly people who are more than 30+ years old. They are people who are from the previous generation living in this generation. In fact the various reason's they quote for not accepting love marriages are,

• Caste the guy or girl belongs
• Religion
• Language they speak
• Pride they might lose of accepting the love marriage
• I don trust love marriage

Its their personal preferences and we don have a say in it.

But, how will the next generation be? Will there be a change? Will there be freedom for men and women to choose the people whom you want to live with? I remember a couple telling, We will be more than happy if their kid finds someone from its opposite gender. That should be all. Some say I'm even OK with them being gay, provided they are happy. But will this all eventually happen! We got to wait a few more decades for an update. :)

But definitely the chance to choose the life partner will increase in the coming generation. People will make their own choices and will be independent. But still there will be people who will sail along to the next generation with the same ideology for love marriage.

Whats your view?

Fwd: Philosphy of Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspire us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Bitter, but taste it - Early age marriages

In this post I'm going to talk about Marriage, Parents, Society, Astrology, Sex, Child birth and so many off topics! I know this might sound crazy.

I remember the Auto's in my native used to write an one liner behind them for the benefit of the society. Like "There will be a free ride for Pregnant women". Like wise another popular one i can remember is "Marriage age for women is 21". Let me guess what will a girl be doing in that age? Mostly doing her under graduation or those poor ones in the rural whose education feeds were unsubscribed after school would have been working for the wellness of their family or helping her mother at home. If a girl gets married at this age what will she take back to the rest of her life from her past. Is it lessons of life? Will her education gained till that date gonna help her? Maybe yes and may be no. If No, then why get married? Is it because its written behind auto and buses, they follow them meticulously? Or is it because that's the right age where women's get qualified as mentally matured mortals to take up the next step in life? Or is it their parents wanted to get their girl married? Or is it the society?

Their parents! Humm every parent does things really good and only for the welfare of their kids at any stages of life! But some of them wanted to get the most toughest part of their girls wedding asap. This is like attempting tougher questions in the beginning of the exam and waste most of the time and spoiling the known easy questions at the end due to lack of time :). Many girls now a days are not given a choice for career or family. They are told, this is the timeline within which you get married and negotiate on your career with the guy who comes. Fortunately there are more conversation ratio in terms of career after wedding. Good sign. What could be the real problem to their parents? I never have got an answer other than "If not now then when is the good time? Else its difficult to find a match?" I guess they din try a `select count(*)` in the matrimony databases! Since there are so many options.

I take the opposite direction when it comes to Astrology. This friend of mine is told, by an astrologer that you should find a man for her before her 24th Birthday, else your wedding will be postponed for long. Ah What crap!!! They believe in this guys words meticulously and start searching for a groom. Now the search has become intense that every rejection is scrutinised for a reason. Finally they ended up fixing for the girls wedding right on time. Why this hurry? Question remains unanswered.

Society! How can my girl do a love marriage? Isn't that ridiculous? How will I face my family back? Humm true, it could be an embarrassment for them just in case that happens. Just listen to this illogical practice followed. I know a town, where men are asked to get married slightly late. Say around 29, 30. Still the age difference between the couple will be more. Then they should give birth to a child in less than two years after marriage. Even some times lesser. She needs to carry a child just because he is getting old. Then why find such a match. I remember hearing this statement from my dear own gf's - The age difference and the misunderstandings between the couples are indirectly proportional. Less gap or equal age results in more difference of opinion. More gap, less misunderstanding. Or I wonder really that the girl is too young to talk against him and he is too old and thinks her as a little girls and walks off. :)

Yeah! You know the conclusion and got to shout anything do it now.

My Best Friends Wedding

I titled this post as "Wedding Planner". But immediate question on looking at that was are you getting married? :) A quick No is always there! So I rephrased this as 'Best Friends Wedding' Since thats what I'm indeed doing. Coming month of June is filled with good muhurtha (an auspicious day to begin things). There are four weddings that I need to attend and I'm the bride's side on all the four weddings. Divya, Revathi, Smitha, Nagu are those. One quick reason of why there are so many weddings are there is an off season when weddings do not happen so, after a long off season now the time has come for them. The days when weddings are planned and appropriate wedding halls are chosen. Now its the other way round.

I need to plan for these weddings! Like...

• Make the bug count to zero on my name in Bugzilla.
  
• File and get my leave approved from my Manager. :(
  
• Book tickets for the journey! (preferably train)
• Canon S3 IS with enough memory and extra set of battery.
  
• Data cable and storages devices if its a long trip.
• Wash and press my clothes.
• Write them all in a paper and make sure I don't miss any of the above.
  

Lately DPS also has been writing many posts on wedding photography! But I guess I should make my own rules to shoot in Indian conditions. Yes they are the other side of the coin. I would say its a tough assignment on track. Also along with the wedding travel will be meeting and traveling to places that I really wanted too.

Advance wishes to all the couples!

Tring Tring... Tring Tring...
Me: Hello Mii(pronunciation of Mom)
Mom: Hello, Vijay! How are you?
Me: Nice Mii, Life's good.
...
...
Mom: How is your friende?(meaning female friend)
Me: Yeah, whats for them! Everyone seems to be fine.
Mom: Oh! is it so...
Me: You know them all right, what then.
Mom: But you should have caught some special friende by this time in Bangalore.
Me: Come on! Why would I hide it from you.
Mom:
Me: Serious mi.. belive me. :)

Later had a long conversation with one of my friend on some serious topic. I know you should have almost guessed from most of them above. But we did cover a who lot of the spectrum. Yeah its on Love, Infatuation, Commitment, Arranged Marriage, Which one will be secure, For what will your parents support, How does a guys life change after getting married, How does a girl change her life after marriage, what the right age for having a child, lush that happens after engagement, how to handle successful and unsuccessful wedding, how is the search for bride and bridegroom dependent on some crazy string matching algorithm that runs across the matrimony websites, digging the person's profiles in orkut to blogger to corporate profiles. What not.

I assume it will take a day for me to write down the whole conversation. My work also wont allow me to do so. To keep it simple, "Be yourself!"